The real Real World

I think I have officially hit reality, and perhaps the only thing saving me from complete insanity is my somewhat lofty belief that things happen for a reason. Now, I'm trying to put all this in perspective: I just graduated college with a liberal arts degree in Global Studies, not exactly biomedical engineering or graphic design. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the stuff I have/am studying, but it's not marketable the way other degrees are. I'm trying to remind myself that this is a short period within a long one and some day I will have an actual salary. But hope is in short supply in this world, and I can only stay cooped up in my apartment for so long. I worry about my health now that I don't have health insurance, and about the election now that I realize half of America is f-ing insane and might just vote for McCain. Now I fear I'm starting to sound as neurotic as Woody Allen. I know that I have something to offer, but that doesn't necessarily mean that other people/employers will recognize it. Now I just sound like my college advisor in the days when optimism was oozing out my ears, and she was just trying to keep it from staining her rug. This world, I am realizing, is a rough and tumble place, and I'm not sure that I want to fight and claw my way to some kind of supposed success. I sometimes wish that I could have stayed in Maine, where things were simpler. I could have adopted the downeast accent, taken up clammin', and reconnected with nature. I feel so far from that-and my family-now. What am I searching for?