In conversation, what is 'off limits?'

A few years ago, a friend told me there were two things she didn't talk about with friends and family alike. They were, and are: politics and religion. I was confused and angry after hearing this. After all, she was a fairly liberal person, artistic, open-minded. Why would she be so closed off to debating about two of the most relevant subjects of our lives? The answer: she hates arguing. And generally that's what any "discussion" about these two always controversial topics, turns into. Wouldn't it be great if we could all comfortably present our ideas on these two topics, or any topic for that matter, and simply agree to disagree. Or, even better, leave a little wiggle room in our respective ideologies to grow and develop. How idealistic for me to think this way, especially when I am the first to notice my blood pressure rising when I hear or see support of John McCain and Sarah Palin.

So, if my friend was right, and it is best to steer clear of politics and religion, what can we talk about that really matters? Don't get me wrong. I don't want to talk string theory over dinner or anything, but I think we could all benefit by making conversational strides towards understanding the most heated differences we possess. And if there's one thing that I can't stand, it's feeling awkward about asking questions or stating my opinion. What happened to that person who said "No question is a dumb question?" When I was a kid, I asked my parent's friend how much money she makes. The response was like, "Ashley (!) you don't ask something like that! " Huh? Well, I wanted to know. I had no idea whether workers were paid the equivalent of my allowance per hour or what being rich or poor actually meant-everyone looked the same to me in those days. Today I still have no idea.

Jonah and I are supposedly middle class, if you take into account that we have enough food to eat, clothes that are nice enough, and can count on never being homeless (although we can't take this for granted). So I guess if there's one thing that I'd like to talk about if I have to set God and Obama on the shelf, is money. Take for example today, I got my hair cut at the Aveda Institute. It's a school for hair dressers and their rate is $15 for a haircut. Pretty much the cheapest besides SuperCut, and a far better result, even with the varying skill levels of the students. When the girl cutting my hair asked what kind of shampoo I used, and I answered "Pantene" I felt as if I had just been caught wearing Keds in a room full of stilletos. In a way though, it speaks to my economic status. Yes, Pantene is 5-ish dollars, and that was my primary reason for buying it. Now, from what I could infer about my later conversation with the hairdresser, her financial situation was much like mine. But apparently she appreciates good shampoo.

So, here's the thing: It's easy with credit to act like you're rich, but everything must be repaid someday. On the flip side, actually having money doesn't guarantee happiness-so what is money's real worth? Contrary to debating what happens after death, and regardless of who will be our next president, money is something that everyone agrees is real and necessary. Today, it seems as if we can tell how much people make by the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the shampoo they use, etc., but what does this really show? What if the “look of money” is more important to people, than actual happiness and debt-free living. The “it” bag, designer labels, cars, shoes, hair, cell phone, iphone. Then there are the big houses, the nanny, the housekeeper.


What if we all had the same size houses, there was only one kind of automobile, and clothes producers were no longer able to place logos on their products? What about healthy competition in the market, you ask? Well, is hasn’t done us very good lately. I don’t know if I’m starting to sound like a socialist (and I’m still not clear on what is so bad about socialism) but what if the government were to have more of a hand in capping prices for the previously listed items? No more $150 pairs of jeans? That’d be alright.

See, I’m not sure if money is a touchy subject for people. I’ve had conversations in the past couple of weeks about bargain shopping, coupons, how much money I’m willing to spend on shampoo, etc. Maybe the sensitive issue is salary. Countless talented people go unappreciated (financially and artistically) in our society. But I think the real issue is that there just doesn’t seem to be enough money in the hands of those who truly need it. And until real changes are made and wealth is more evenly distributed, it will continue to be a topic that we discuss-uncomfortable or not. Maybe we need to focus privately on whatever Faith/God we believe in to know that things will get better, while also taking politics off the shelf, discussing the issues, and not being afraid to argue, especially in times like these.